The Experience of Life

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DEALING WITH THE SELF

Now we come to see the matter of dealing with the self. This experience is very closely related to dealing with the flesh. This is an important experience in the stage of the cross.

If we desire to deal with the self, we need first to define what the self is. There are many spiritual terms that we use quite often, but when we press for the real meaning, it is difficult to explain them. So it is with the self. We often hear people speak about the self, but few can define it. What, really, is the self? Simply, the self is the soul-life with the emphasis on human thoughts and human opinions. We can discover this from the Bible, where the self is clearly mentioned.

Let us first read Matthew 16:21-25: “From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes and be killed and on the third day be raised. And Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, God be merciful to You, Lord! This shall by no means happen to You! But He turned and said to Peter, Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me, for you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men. Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it; but whoever loses his soul-life for My sake shall find it.”

In this passage the Lord showed His disciples in verse 21 how He must suffer, be killed, and raised up again. All that the Lord said here is the will of God, because the cross of the Lord is the will of God ordained in eternity. But in verse 22 Peter had an opinion, and he voiced it to the Lord: “God be merciful to You, Lord!” Therefore, the Lord in verse 23 rebuked Peter, saying that he was not setting his mind on the things of God but on the things of men. The things of God are the will of God, or the cross. The things of men are to pity yourself and to not receive the cross. What the Lord desired was the will of God, but what Peter cared about was the human thought. Therefore, in verse 24 the Lord asked the disciples to deny themselves, take up the cross, and follow Him. When we compare this word with the preceding verse, we comprehend that this self that the Lord asked us to deny is the human thought. The Lord asked the disciples to deny and forsake the self, which meant to lay aside their own thought. When the Lord asked the disciples to receive the cross, this meant that they should receive the mind of God or the will of God. Therefore, the Lord was asking the disciples here to put aside their own thought and receive the cross, which is the will of God.

From this we see that the self has much to do with human thought. Yet the self is not human thought, and human thought is not the self per se. Therefore, in verse 25 the Lord went on to say that whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it, but whoever loses his soul-life for the Lord’s sake shall find it. The denying of the self mentioned in the preceding verse was followed immediately by the losing of the soul-life. This indicates that the self that was mentioned is the soul-life spoken of directly following. The soul-life is the self.

In this passage the word of the Lord follows step by step. In verse 22 Peter admonished the Lord to pity Himself; in verse 23 the Lord pointed out that this is human thought or human opinion; in verse 24 the Lord traced this to the root by saying that this opinion is the self. Therefore, we need to forsake and deny it. Then in verse 25 the Lord touched the root of the self by showing that the very self is the soul-life. If the soul-life is being put to death, which means that the self is being denied, there will be no more human opinion. In this passage verse 23 speaks about the opinion, verse 24 about the self, and verse 25 about the soul-life. Each verse mentions one matter, step by step, very clearly.

Therefore, we can find here a definition for the self: the self in essence is the soul-life, whereas the expression of the self is opinion. Self, soul-life, and opinion are three aspects of one thing. This may be likened to Christ Himself as the very God, and the expression of Christ as the Holy Spirit. The three are one. God incarnated and expressed is Christ, and the soul-life expressed is the self. When Christ is expressed before men and touched by men, He is the Holy Spirit. Likewise, the self is expressed before men and touched by men in the form of human opinion and human viewpoint. Just as when we touch the Holy Spirit, we touch Christ, so when we touch human opinion and viewpoint, we touch the self as well as the soul-life.

Let us read John 5:30: “I can do nothing from Myself; as I hear, I judge…I do not seek My own will but the will of Him who sent Me.”

From this verse we learn that it is the same with the Lord Jesus as it is with us in the self being expressed in the form of opinion. First, the Lord said here that He can do nothing from Himself; then He said that He does not seek His own will. From this we see that “Myself” and “My own will” are identical. His doing nothing from Himself means that He does not seek His own will. Hence, it is clear that the self is focused in the idea and opinion. The self is expressed in opinion, and opinion is the expression of the self. For example, if in a certain fellowship meeting concerning service, a certain brother continually expresses his ideas and opinions, we cannot say that that is sin, the world, or the flesh. But we will surely say that that is the self, because the self expresses itself in opinions. A person who is full of ideas and opinions is full of the self and the expression of the self as well.

Now let us read Job 38:1-2: “Then Jehovah answered Job out of the whirlwind and said, Who is this who darkens counsel / By words without knowledge?”

Job 3 through 37 is a record of human words and opinions. In these thirty-five long chapters Job and his three friends, and later Elihu, were talking, arguing, and expressing their opinions continually. Therefore, soon after they had completely expressed themselves, God came forth and rebuked them, saying, “Who is this who darkens counsel / By words without knowledge?” After Job was enlightened by God, he said in 42:3-6, “Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge? / …I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, / But now my eye has seen You; / Therefore I abhor myself, and I repent / In dust and ashes.” At first Job spoke words without knowledge and expressed his own opinion, but at the end he abhorred himself and repented in dust and ashes. From this we see that Job’s opinion was his self, which he abhorred. His opinion was the expression of his self.

In the whole Bible the person who spoke the most was Job. God afflicted him with circumstances and also arranged that he be surrounded by his four friends. In this way all the words within him were drawn out. He had his own opinions, his own ideas, and he did not yield to others’ viewpoints. He felt that he had done no wrong and that there was no need for him to deal with sin, the world, or the conscience. Therefore, he beat his chest, desiring to reason with the righteous One. Indeed, the difficulty with Job was not sin, the world, or the conscience. His difficulty was his self. His unbroken self was a problem that prevented him from knowing God.

Many in the church are like Job; they have much to say. Actually, a sinning one, or one who loves the world, does not speak much, because he is aware of his mistakes and shortcomings. The conscience of all those who do wrong is defiled, and they cannot lift up their head. Therefore, they do not speak much and are easier to be helped and led. But those who are of Job’s type seemingly have no touch of sin, nor do they love the world; yet they are extremely self-righteous and always think that they are right. Concerning the church and the things of God, they have many opinions and ideas. Thus, all day long they talk about this and that and even speak of things they do not know. This kind of people is the most difficult to be helped and led; they cause others to feel incapable of helping them.

A person who is full of the self always brings many difficulties into the church. The reason for so many divisions in Christianity today is not only the sinfulness and worldliness of man but more so the self of man. Many people serve the Lord by helping brothers and sisters, yet in reality they want others to follow their ideas and opinions, their viewpoints and methods. The result is many divisions in the church today. Martin Luther said that within him there was a greater pope than the one in Rome—himself. In the church, if the self is not broken, every person is a pope, and everyone will become a division.

In the Bible besides Job, Peter is also a model example of one who was full of the self. Peter’s self was expressed to the uttermost because he was the most talkative one and had the most opinions. On many occasions in the Gospels Peter spoke and expressed his opinions. There was not one subject concerning which he did not have an opinion or idea. Therefore, each time the Lord dealt with him, He dealt with his opinion and idea. The teaching of denying the self in Matthew 16 was spoken because of Peter. On the night of His betrayal, the Lord Jesus said to His disciples, “You will all be stumbled because of Me this night, for it is written, ‘I will smite the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered’” (26:31). When Peter heard this, his self was immediately drawn out, and he said, “If all will be stumbled because of You, I will never be stumbled” (v. 33). The result was that he denied the Lord three times and failed greatly (vv. 69-75). This was a real breaking and dealing for Peter. But even after such a dealing, while the disciples were gathered together after the Lord’s resurrection, it was again he who made a suggestion; he said, “I am going fishing” (John 21:3). He was really one who girded himself and walked where he wished (21:18).

In the New Testament there is still another who represents the self. It is Martha. Each time she is mentioned in the Gospels, she is always talking and giving her opinion. John 11 most clearly depicts her characteristics—many words and many opinions. We read there that her brother Lazarus died, and after four days the Lord Jesus came. When she saw the Lord, she blamed Him, saying, “If You had been here, my brother would not have died” (v. 21). This was her opinion. Then the Lord said, “Your brother will rise again” (v. 23). Martha said to Him immediately, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection in the last day” (v. 24). This again was her explanation according to her own opinion of the words of the Lord. The Lord replied, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes into Me, even if he should die, shall live; and everyone who lives and believes into Me shall by no means die forever. Do you believe this?” (vv. 25-26). She answered and said, “I have believed that You are the Christ, the Son of God” (v. 27). What she answered was not what the Lord had asked; her comprehension of what the Lord had said was really remote. After saying this, she did not care whether the Lord had finished speaking with her; she returned home and called her sister Mary secretly, saying, “The Teacher is here and is calling you” (v. 28). This she fabricated on her own and made the decision for the Lord. Now when they had come to the tomb, and Jesus requested that the stone be removed, Martha again offered her opinion, saying, “Lord, by now he smells, for it is the fourth day that he is there” (v. 39). This story reveals Martha’s opinion and viewpoint. She had so many opinions, which indicates that her self was very strong.

From these narratives relating to the people mentioned, we can clearly see that the expression of the self is in the human thoughts and opinions. Therefore, a person who is full of ideas and opinions is one who is full of the self.

THE DIFFERENTIATION OF SEVEN ITEMS

Now that we have clearly seen the definition of the self, we need to see the differences in seven related items: the old man, “I,” the soul-life, the flesh, the temper, the self, and the natural constitution. If we wish to pursue the experience of the cross, we should know the definition and differentiation of these seven items very clearly, because these are the objects of the dealing of the cross.

Let us first give a simple definition to each of these seven items.

The old man refers to our very being, the created and fallen man.

“I” is the title by which the old man calls himself. The old man is the “I,” and the “I” is the old man.

The soul-life is the life of the old man. The life that the old man possesses is the soul-life.

These three—the old man, “I,” and the soul-life—are one and the same. The old man is the man of the old creation that is in Adam, the soul-life is the life of this old man, and “I” is the title by which the old man calls himself.

The flesh is the living out of the old man, or the living of the old man. Before our soul-life is lived out, it is simply the old man, but once it is lived out, it is the flesh.

The temper is man’s natural disposition, especially referring to the bad temperament.

The self, as we have seen, is the soul-life as expressed in the human idea and opinion.

The natural constitution is our natural ability, capability, and wit.

If we join these seven items together, we may state the following: There is a created, fallen man whose name is the old man. He calls himself “I.” The life within him is the soul-life, which when being lived out is the flesh. In this flesh there is a part that is bad, the irritability and anger of which is called the temper. In the flesh there is also a good part, the opinion and idea of which is called the self, and the ability and capability of which is called the natural constitution.

These seven items are the objects of the dealing of the cross. Yet these dealings differ. In the whole Bible we find no reference saying that the Lord has put our soul-life, flesh, temper, the self, or the natural constitution on the cross. In Galatians 5:24, they…have crucified the flesh refers to our applying the cross through the Holy Spirit, not the Lord doing it for us. We have thoroughly discussed this matter in the previous chapter, “Dealing with the Flesh.” We can only find that our old man has been crucified with the Lord on the cross (Rom. 6:6). What the Lord has crucified and put to an end on the cross is our old man. This is a fact that the Lord has accomplished. When we see this fact and acknowledge that the Lord has done away with the old man on the cross, then we can say, “I am crucified with Christ” (Gal. 2:20; 6:14). These two references acknowledge what the Lord has done for us. After this acknowledgment we need to experience the cross in dealing with these last five items: our soul-life, our flesh, our temper, our self, and our natural constitution.

Therefore, the whole experience of the cross lies in the following three steps: first, the crucifying of our old man, which is an objective fact accomplished by Christ; second, when we acknowledge and receive this fact, it becomes “I am crucified with Christ”; third, when we go on to experience this fact subjectively, there are five different points, which are due to the five different aspects of the old man. First, the old man has a soul-life, which when being lived out is expressed in the flesh, temper, the self, and the natural constitution. As we apply in our experience the crucifixion with Christ through the Holy Spirit to our soul-life, that is dealing with the soul-life. Second, when we apply the death of the cross to whatever is lived out from our soul-life, whether it be good or bad, that is dealing with the flesh. Third, dealing with the flesh includes also dealing with the temper. Fourth, when we apply the death of the cross to our opinions and ideas, that is dealing with the self, or bearing the cross. Fifth, when we apply the death of the cross to our maneuvering, capability, ability, methods, wisdom, and knowledge, that is dealing with the natural constitution, or the breaking of the cross.

DEALING WITH THE SELF

How is the self dealt with? In other words, how should we deal with the self? We have already mentioned that the Bible only says that our old man has been crucified with Christ. The Bible never says specifically that our self has been crucified with the Lord. In spite of this, the way to deal with the self is still the cross, just as the way to deal with the flesh is the cross. In considering this matter, we will divide it into the objective fact and the subjective experience.

The Objective Fact

The objective fact in dealing with the self, just as in dealing with the flesh, rests in Christ; that is, our old man has been crucified with Him. This is because the self is part of the expression of the old man. With God, the problem of the old man has already been solved; thus, the self, which is of the old man, has also been solved. Therefore, on the objective side, the only fact is that our old man has been crucified; but on the subjective side, there is more to it. It is like having a chicken dinner: what we have killed is a chicken, but when it is being served on the table, there are many different parts, such as the breast, the legs, and the wings. Similarly, when the Lord was crucified, He solved the problem of our old man, but since the old man has various facets, there are likewise various aspects of dealings in our experience. One aspect is the dealing with the soul-life; other aspects are the dealings with the flesh, temper, and the self and the breaking of the natural constitution. These are our experience of the cross.

The Subjective Experience

The subjective experience in dealing with the self, just as in dealing with the flesh, is through the Holy Spirit. If we have seen the fact that our old man has been crucified, then in our daily living, whenever we discover the expressing of our own ideas or opinions, we must let the Holy Spirit work the death of the cross upon these ideas and opinions to put them to death. This is our subjective experience in dealing with the self.

THE PROCESS OF DEALING WITH THE SELF

Seeing That the Old Man Has Been Crucified

The process in dealing with the self is quite similar to that of dealing with the flesh. The first requirement is to see the fact that our old man has been crucified. This means that we must receive revelation from God so that we may see that our old man has been crucified with Christ.

Seeing That Our Opinions Are One of the Expressions of the Old Man

The second requirement is to see that one aspect of the expression of the old man is our opinions. The old man expresses itself not only in the flesh but also in the opinions, which are the self. If one only sees that the old man has been crucified and yet does not recognize the manners or ways in which the old man is being expressed, he cannot have the subjective experience. Therefore, the first step in our dealing with the self subjectively is to see that our opinions are one of the expressions of the old man.

Applying the Crucifixion of Christ to Our Opinions

Once we know that our old man has been crucified and done away with in Christ, and once we realize that opinions and ideas are the expression of the old man, we naturally will not allow the old man to express itself again in opinions. Therefore, we will apply the crucifixion of Christ through the Holy Spirit to our opinions. This is our subjective experience in dealing with the self. This is also what the Lord refers to in Matthew 16 as the denying of the self and the bearing of the cross.

Today, in fallen Christianity, many truths have been misunderstood. The truth of bearing the cross is a case in point. Many people misinterpret the bearing of the cross as suffering. This is a wrong concept, a concept which we have inherited from Roman Catholicism. We should realize that the emphasis of the cross is not suffering but death. When a person goes to the cross, the main thing is to go there not to suffer but to die. When we mention execution by shooting, we understand that that means death. Likewise, in the time of the Lord Jesus, whenever the cross was mentioned, man’s understanding of it was death. Therefore, the cross is not only a painful punishment but also a deathly punishment. The cross does not cause man merely to suffer; the cross puts man to death. Likewise, the bearing of the cross is not a matter of suffering but of being put to death, not of standing on the ground of suffering but of standing in the place of death. To bear the cross is not to bear suffering but to bear death, not to put ourselves under suffering but to put ourselves under death. There is quite a difference between the two meanings.

Thus, the bearing of the cross is nothing else but a declaration that in this universe the death of the cross is accomplished by Christ. When the Word of God through the Holy Spirit reveals the cross to us, we receive it by faith, thereby applying the death of the cross to us and not departing from it. This is called the bearing of the cross. In other words, to bear the cross means to bear the death of Christ on us and to allow the death of Christ to work on us continually in order to put our self to death.

The bearing of the cross differs from the crucifixion. The accomplished fact of Christ on the cross is called the crucifixion, whereas our daily experience of the cross is called the bearing of the cross. Hence, the crucifixion was accomplished by the Lord, and the bearing of the cross is our responsibility in experiencing it. The crucifixion on Calvary has been accomplished by the Lord once for all, and when we receive what the Lord has accomplished on the cross, we receive it once for all. But when we go on to experience this cross, we bear it continuously. Not only do we bear it daily and at all times, but we also bear it everywhere and in all places.

The Lord Jesus first bore the cross, and then He was crucified. But we are first crucified, and then we bear the cross. The Lord bore the cross all His life. There was an invisible cross that was laid upon Him. The cross was upon Him in His living and in His work. Then He bore the visible cross on the way to Golgotha (John 19:17), until finally He was nailed to this cross. The Lord not only bore the cross and endured the suffering, but He also endured death. Although He took only the form of a sinful body, without the reality of the flesh, and although He Himself is holy, yet He received the death of the cross unto Himself and allowed it to put Him to death. Finally, in His death at Golgotha, He put His whole being to death. Therefore, for the Lord it was first the bearing and then the crucifying.

After the bearing of the cross and the crucifixion, He was resurrected. From that time forth, with respect to Himself, He was delivered from the cross; but within His life, which passed through the cross, there is the very element of the death of the cross. Therefore, when after the resurrection He came into us as the Spirit, He automatically brought with Him the fact of the crucifixion and the element of the death of the cross so that we may share His crucifixion.

All this has been done by the Lord for us, but on our part we need the Holy Spirit to open our eyes so that we may see not only that the cross of Christ has put the Lord to death, but that at the same time our old man has been crucified and finished there. We actually have died with Christ. Once we receive this fact, the Holy Spirit will further reveal to us that our opinions and ideas are the expression of the old man. Since the Lord has crucified our old man, why then do we let the old man express himself in such a way? Hence, we will apply the death of the cross to ourselves. Whenever we discover that we are about to voice our opinion and idea, we will immediately deny it and put it under the death of the cross. This is the bearing of the cross. Therefore, with us the crucifying is first and then the bearing.

Though we present this matter of bearing the cross and dealing with the self in a simple way, I believe it is very clear to us. More than ten years ago, when we sought the Lord, we were not clear concerning the meaning of the cross, the bearing of the cross, and dealing with the self. At that time we were really groping. We worship the Lord that in these years the Lord has had mercy upon His church and has continuously shown us His light so that we may point out in detail these spiritual matters. Therefore, the Lord’s children today, provided they have a seeking heart, will find it much easier to know and experience all these lessons.

APPLYING THE EXPERIENCE OF DEALING WITH THE SELF

In the Fellowship of the Holy Spirit

The applying of the experience of dealing with the self is first in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. We may understand the crucifying of the old man and know that our opinions are the expression of the self, but if we do not live in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, it is but an empty doctrine and does not afford any practical experience. If we do not live in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit and yet try to deal with the self, such exercise is exactly like the strenuous efforts practiced by the Buddhists, Hindus, and Chinese moralists; it is not a spiritual experience. Only the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth, the Spirit of reality; therefore, only as we live in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit is our seeing the real seeing and our experience the real experience. Therefore, if we desire to live continuously in the experience of dealing with the self, the basic requirement is to live in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

Letting the Holy Spirit Execute the Crucifixion of Christ upon Us

If we live in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit and touch the Holy Spirit, then we must allow the Holy Spirit to execute the crucifixion of Christ upon all our living and actions. This allowing is our cooperation with the Holy Spirit. When we allow the Holy Spirit to perform His work in us, it means that we are cooperating with Him. In this way, on one hand, we apply the crucifixion of Christ through the Holy Spirit, and on the other hand, we let the Holy Spirit execute Christ’s crucifixion in us. On one hand, it is our doing, and on the other hand, it is the working of the Holy Spirit—it is impossible to separate one from the other in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. At this time we are living in Romans 8, in the law of the Spirit of life; we are putting to death all the expressions of the old man through the Holy Spirit.

If one who loves God has a pliable will, and he is willing to cooperate with the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit will bring him deeper and deeper into the cross and put his self thoroughly to death.

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SATAN AND SELF-OPINION

We have previously said that our opinions are one of the expressions of our old man. However, in the experience of our dealing with the self, we must pay attention to a further matter—the relationship between the self and Satan. Very few people pay any attention to this relationship, and scarcely does anyone realize that Satan has a definite position in our self and in our opinions. Therefore, we must put some stress upon this matter.

Hidden in the self of man is Satan. Not only is Satan the sin in our body, but he is also the good opinions in our self. When speaking of sin, many people are aware of its corruption; therefore, they hate sin and condemn it. But when mention is made of opinions, many people think of them as good. Not only do they feel that their opinion is better than that of others, but they even feel that opinions themselves are essentially good. None of us hate our own opinions; we all love them and deem them to be good and admirable. In spite of this, the Bible reveals that not only is sin of Satan, but even the opinions that man deems to be good are also of Satan. The opinion in our soul is just as much the embodiment of Satan as is the sin in our body. We may say that Satan’s “incarnation” in us causes him, on one hand, to become the sin in our body and, on the other hand, the opinion in our soul.

Because Satan has such a definite position in our body and soul, when he comes to possess, gain, and corrupt man, he works in these two parts of our being. On one hand, he stirs up the lust of the members of the body, and on the other hand, he arouses the opinions in the mind. Furthermore, when Satan works, he works on both parts at the same time. Whenever Satan comes to tempt man, he first causes man to have an opinion in his soul; then he causes the body to sin.

This applies to the fall of the human race when Satan tempted Eve in the beginning. He came first to stir up her mind by giving her a suggestion. In other words, by his crafty questions he caused the mind of Eve to entertain doubt, which in turn caused her to formulate opinions. Dr. Haldeman has said that in the beginning, when the serpent in the garden inquired in Genesis 3:1, “Did God really say?” its posture was in the form of a question mark, with the head raised and the body bent. This is indeed meaningful. Therefore, if we wish to know the spiritual principle of man’s fall, we must realize that the first step of the fall was that man had an opinion and that his opinion was from Satan.

This opinion from Satan injected into man was the first opinion of the human race. When man was first created, before he was seduced by Satan, he lived in a very simple way before God, without doubt or opinion. The first opinion man had was derived from the suggestion Satan injected into the human mind. Hence, we see that the first step of Satan in entering into man was not by way of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which man partook of by eating, but by way of an opinion transmitted into the soul of man. When the soul of man was stirred and received the suggestion of Satan, his body followed, and he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Because of this, we have said that opinion and sin are always related. When our opinion is expressed, nine out of ten times it is related to sin, for opinion does not issue from our self but stems from the originator of sin, who is Satan. Satan hides within the opinion, and we may say that opinion is the embodiment of Satan.

From Matthew 16:21-25 we see clearly the relationship between self-opinion and Satan. When the Lord Jesus showed His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and die, Peter at that time had his own opinion, and taking hold of the Lord, he said, “God be merciful to You, Lord! This shall by no means happen to You!” But the Lord turned and rebuked Peter, saying, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me, for you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men.” The Lord here directly rebuked Peter as Satan because the Lord knew that Satan was hiding behind Peter’s opinion. Although Peter’s opinion issued from his love for the Lord, although it was an excellent opinion and was for the interest of the Lord, this opinion was the very embodiment of Satan. We usually think of a bad opinion as being from Satan, but in the sight of the Lord, whether it be bad or good, as long as it is an opinion, it is of Satan. The best opinion of man is still in the sight of God the embodiment of Satan. We must be warned concerning this.

There is another place in the Bible that speaks clearly of the relationship between Satan and self-opinion. Ephesians 2:2-3 says, “You once walked according to the age of this world, according to the ruler of the authority of the air, of the spirit which is now operating in the sons of disobedience; among whom we also all conducted ourselves once in the lusts of our flesh, doing the desires of the flesh and of the thoughts…” This passage first shows us that all human beings today walk according to the working of the spirit of Satan within them. It then shows us that the result of Satan’s work is to cause men to live in the lusts of their flesh, doing the desires of their flesh and of their thoughts. On the one hand, they fulfill the desires of the lusts of the flesh, and on the other hand, they fulfill the desires of their thoughts. Therefore, the working of Satan within men is of two aspects: in men’s flesh and in men’s mind. When Satan works in our flesh, it results in the lust of our flesh, which is sin; when he works in our mind, the result is opinion, or the self.

A brother once testified that whenever he encountered a situation and within him there was an opinion that he desired to express, if he did not express it, he would feel very “itchy” inside. This is really true. This itchy feeling is his desire within him. Whenever an opium addict is confronted with opium, he feels itchy; whenever a gambler sees the gambling devices, he feels itchy. In the same manner, when Satan works in man’s mind and gives man an opinion, man becomes itchy within and cannot help but express it. Therefore, just as sin is the result of the desires of man’s flesh so also is our opinion the result of the desires of man’s mind. Both are the result of the working of Satan within man.

We regret to say that in the past we have had too little knowledge with regard to our own opinion. Very few condemn their opinion, and even fewer realize that their own opinion is Satan. Everybody esteems his own opinions highly, treasures his own opinions, and feels very sweet when meditating upon them. We love our own children, but to my realization we love our own opinions far more than we love our children. To our feelings, opinions are always a most lovable thing.

We deeply need to ask the Lord to give us a full turn in our concept in the light of these words. We must see that if sin is horrible, much more so is our opinion. If to resist the enemy we need to resist sin, much more do we need to deny our opinions. We need to put to death all our opinions through the cross. Thus, we deny ourselves in a practical way, we deny thoroughly the place of Satan in us, and we overthrow Satan’s stronghold in us.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEALING WITH THE SELF AND BEING MAGNANIMOUS

The dealing with the self that we are speaking of is entirely different from the magnanimity commonly spoken of among worldly people. Our dealing with the self is based upon our realization that opinion is not only an expression of the old man but also the embodiment of Satan. Therefore, we apply the cross to our opinion and thereby put it to death. Once the opinion is put to death, our self is dealt with as well. Nevertheless, this is not the case with those who are magnanimous. The magnanimous persons, when associating with others, never cause trouble by expressing their opinions. They endeavor to maintain peace with others; thus, in everything they seem to be very courteous and never quarrelsome. In all matters, however, they have their own opinion and idea. To their feeling, the opinion of others is never as good as theirs. But if others do not accept their opinion, they can restrain themselves from expressing it; they would never force others to accept it. They would even go to the extent, outwardly, of going along with the opinion of others and following others’ way of doing things. In this way there is no disharmony with others. Therefore, they act outwardly in one way and inwardly in another. Outwardly, they do not insist on anything, yet inwardly, they never lay aside their own opinion; rather, they would keep it forever. This is called magnanimity.

Being magnanimous in such a way is absolutely not dealing with opinion or dealing with the self; on the contrary, it nurtures opinions. Once the opinion is nurtured, the self is developed, for the self grows in the soil of opinion. Opinion is the best fertilizer and hotbed for the self. The more human opinion there is and the more it is given existence and preserved, the better the self grows. Conversely, dealing with man’s opinion is equal to slaying the self. Man is not willing to lay aside his opinion, because he is not willing to deny his self. Throughout the generations we see people whose self is strong to such a degree that you could cut off their head, but you could never make them relinquish their opinion. Hence, dealing with opinion and denying of the self are very difficult matters.

Being magnanimous, we repeat, is not dealing with the self. The magnanimous person never condemns his own opinion or idea. He always feels that his own opinion is the most correct and the best. The only reason he does not insist on his own opinion is that he is able to make allowances for others and bear with others. He practices broad-mindedness; he has a measure as broad as the sea. Yet this kind of person considers himself the wisest and his opinion the best. When others do not accept his opinion, he bears with them and manifests his broad-mindedness.

These persons are seemingly meek but actually are always self-righteous, seemingly humble but in fact most arrogant. They are in total darkness and are the most blind. They resemble the Pharisees, self-righteous and self-right, whom the Lord rebuked as being in darkness and blindness. The more successful a person is in being magnanimous, the more he becomes a stranger in spiritual things. He never has the light of God, nor does he know the mind of God. He is void of any spiritual understanding; his whole being is like a brass and iron wall. He who is most magnanimous, he who is most able to bear with others, and he who is most able to adapt himself to others, is the most retarded in spiritual growth. This kind of person develops his magnanimity by human effort; therefore, the more magnanimous he is, the stronger and grosser is his self. A magnanimous person does not abandon his self; rather, he accumulates his self, until one day he will open his mouth and pour forth all the pent-up opinions within; then he will be exactly like Job. He feels that he is the father of the orphans, the eyes of the blind, the feet of the lame, always helping others and bearing with others. This proves that his self is wholly sealed, and he has never decreased a bit.

Dealing with the self is an absolutely different matter. To be magnanimous is to hide your opinion, but to deal with the self is to reject your opinion. To be magnanimous is to temporarily swallow your opinion, but to deal with the self is to hand over your opinion to the thorough killing of the cross. Therefore, one who has really learned the lesson of dealing with the self has, on one hand, a firm decision in his spirit, and, on the other hand, because he has been broken, he does not seem to have any opinion. If God does it his way, he says Amen; if God does it otherwise, he counts his opinion as nothing. Because the self has already been broken by the cross, he cannot lose his temper, nor can he be magnanimous, even if he wants to. Something within him has been broken. In this way he can have light. Therefore, we have seen that people who are frank, opinionated, and outspoken are more easily delivered than those so-called good people, those magnanimous persons who always bear with others. Since their self is exposed, after they are broken by the cross, it is truly dealt with; the result then is that they really have no opinion of their own.

Therefore, we should never have the concept that to deal with the self means to be magnanimous and thus become a magnanimous person. We must differentiate clearly the matter of dealing with the self from being magnanimous. For example, in the church or at home, once we have discovered that we have our own opinions, we should not let them pass lightly but deal with them. Neither should we simply withdraw our opinion peacefully and let the matter go. The attitude of being tolerant will afford more growth to our opinion. We must see that we have already been crucified with the Lord on the cross; then whenever our opinion and the self are being expressed, we should apply the killing of the cross through the power of the Holy Spirit to put to death this opinion and the self. It is only when we repeatedly apply this death that our self gradually decreases, and the life of Christ gradually grows within us.

A FINAL WORD

Among Christians there are very few who deal with the self and opinion. In regard to dealing with the flesh and dealing with the temper, all who have pursuit in spiritual things have had some experience. However, very few brothers and sisters are aware that the self needs to be dealt with. This is because we do not know the meaning of the self, nor do we know that opinion is the expression of the self, the embodiment of the self. But the biggest reason is that we think our opinions are good and lovable, not knowing that the self is hidden within them. We have mentioned several times that in Matthew 16 Peter’s opinion was commendable in showing his love for the Lord, but he did not know that the self and Satan as well were hidden within it. Only those who have been enlightened by the Lord know that man’s opinion is the enemy of God’s will as well as the opponent of the cross. Whenever we care for man’s opinion, we will surely neglect the will of God. Whenever we set our mind on the things of men, we cannot set our mind on the things of God. Whenever our opinion comes to fruition, our self grows. Opinion is the fertile soil, and the self is planted therein. He who has the most opinions has the grossest self. Therefore, when we are together with young brothers or sisters, we need to grasp this principle and not permit their opinion to have any place. To give place to their opinion means to give their self the fertile soil to grow.

When we see the awfulness of the self and are willing to learn the lesson of dealing with the self in our daily living, we must beware of one thing—of ever taking the way of magnanimity, which is exactly contrary to the goal of dealing with the self. Unfortunately, most of us are not clear with regard to this aspect of the truth, and we unconsciously fall into the error of being magnanimous. While we are with others, we sometimes have our opinion; yet for the sake of not striving with others, we refrain from expressing our opinion. Similarly, in our homes we often are confronted with many situations that are incompatible with our opinion. We feel that it is useless for us to say anything, so we simply swallow our opinion and remain silent. In many churches and homes today, there are many such situations. According to man, this condition is much better than that of quarreling. However, according to life, this state is much more difficult to deal with than that of quarreling. Quarreling exposes the corruption of man; thus, when man is enlightened by the Holy Spirit, he will fall before God. It is difficult for those magnanimous people who never quarrel to be enlightened. It is hard for the Holy Spirit to touch them or shine upon them. Those who always swallow their opinion are those who always seek the Lord’s light for others. Actually, they themselves need light the most. Though a magnanimous person withdraws his opinion when it is rejected by others, he considers himself most right and praises his own opinion most highly. He continually lives in the self, not knowing that the self is the greatest enemy of God. Therefore, magnanimity does not cause us to be broken; on the contrary, it causes our self to grow and become tough.

This is not so with the matter of dealing with the self. In dealing with the self, we must see that as long as we live and grow in ourselves, Christ will have no way to live or grow. Since we live in our opinion, we must condemn it by putting it to death, that is, putting our self to death. This is the work of the cross, which issues in Christ being increased in us. We are not taking the way of magnanimity; rather, we are taking the way of putting to death the self, thereby letting Christ have a place to grow and be formed in us.

Concerning the application of the experience of the cross, we must realize that all dealing with the flesh and the self is continuous and not once for all. All the objective facts in Christ are accomplished once for all, but all the subjective experiences in the Holy Spirit are continuous. Our opinions cannot be crucified all at once; neither can we deal with the flesh all at once. The farmer weeds the field; today the weeds are removed, but tomorrow they will grow again, and he must remove them again. He can never exert one supreme effort to gain eternal ease. Likewise, today we are still in the old creation, and the old man cannot refrain from expressing himself in various aspects. Therefore, when we apply the dealing of the cross through fellowship in the Holy Spirit, one application is not enough; we must apply it morning, noon, and night. When these subjective experiences become mature and deep, we may be able to apply a last thorough crucifixion and severe dealing to a certain expression of the old man, bringing it to an end. However, in the initial stage of our experience, we must apply the dealing time after time. Therefore, when speaking of the subjective dealing, the Lord said that we need to bear the cross, meaning that we cannot depart from the cross. While in the meeting, a certain brother may have an opinion: he condemns it and withholds himself from speaking, but after the meeting, in privacy, he speaks forth. This is not the bearing of the cross. It is not that you bear the cross when you have an opinion during the meeting, and then after the meeting you throw off the cross. We should always be crucified on the cross and always bear the cross. The meaning of bearing the cross is not to depart from the cross.

Throughout the generations all those who have experienced the cross, such as Brother Lawrence and Madame Guyon, have agreed that one who bears the cross cannot be separated from the cross. A person who bears the cross is one with the cross; he is inseparable from the cross. When he sees the fact of the putting to death through the cross, he receives the mark of death as a seal upon him, and thereafter he continually applies the fact of death to his practical daily living. This is called the bearing of the cross. Therefore, the acceptance of the death of the cross is not once for all but a daily bearing of the cross.

When the Lord touched upon the matter of dealing with the self, He spoke about the bearing of the cross and not the crucifixion. There are two meanings of crucifixion: one is to be nailed to the cross; the other is to be put to an end. Many think that once we accept the cross, our self is terminated, and there is no further need to bear the cross. However, the Lord spoke of our need of bearing the cross, thus showing us that our self is not brought to an end simply by the acceptance of the truth of the cross. We must still bear the cross and not be separated from it. When we receive the fact of our being crucified, that is crucifixion. But when we go on to experience the crucifixion, that is bearing the cross.

When the Lord Jesus was a man on this earth, He first bore the cross; He bore it until one day He went to Golgotha and was nailed upon the cross. This is called the crucifixion. When the Lord was crucified on the cross, He died and was brought to an end. When He died, He was separated from the cross. So also are we. Factually, the Lord has crucified us with Him on the cross, but experientially, we have not died. Therefore, we need to bear the cross continually until we are raptured and transfigured, at which time we can be separated from the cross. In reality, however spiritual a Christian may be, he cannot for one moment depart from the cross. Whenever he departs from the cross, he is living in his flesh and by his self. When through the Holy Spirit we apply the cross so that we have the mark of the cross upon us continually, this is called bearing the cross. Therefore, dealing with the self is a lifelong lesson. During our entire life we should apply the death of the cross to our self and be one who denies the self and bears the cross.

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